feeling down but holding the flowers

is it me or is something going crazy on the earth, is it natural to feel like u cant wait for your life to end ? my mind says oh well you should be grateful for what you have, blah blah but this is a true feeling, nothing to do with suicide just a feeling of ill be glad when its over. god this is pessimistic, although a true feeling lol

im not askin for anyone to feel sorry so don’t bother, im just wondering what this is all about, its new for me to feel this and i don’t feel like bring on death in a kind of cynical way either, i just generally feel like i will be glad when its all over.

I know one things for sure tho, i love mother earthy and want all those that wish it to be able to feel the connection there, it’s realy kind of something from my heart that i long to be able to feel some closeness, the other day i kind of felt that, held the flowers, felt the energy, that was beautiful! I released how much we have lost we hardly know half of the magic out there due to the way we live, blah blah lol

actually i just felt before that’s a feeling of i don’t care, its when you’ve felt too much and u just want it to end. anyway mother earth yes we love you and id rather feel connected than empty like a ghost, or what those shamans call soul loss.